From: babasatsang+noreply@googlegroups.com
Date: Fri, 27 Aug 2010 21:41:32 +0000
Subject: [Baba-Satsang] Digest for babasatsang@googlegroups.com - 1
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Today's Topic Summary
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Group: babasatsang@googlegroups.com
Url: http://groups.google.com/group/babasatsang/topics
- Fw: Reacting to criticism [1 Update]
http://groups.google.com/group/babasatsang/t/8b7b56b722185075
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Topic: Fw: Reacting to criticism
Url: http://groups.google.com/group/babasatsang/t/8b7b56b722185075
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From: Bhaskar Varanasi <bhaskar.varanasi@oracle.com>
Date: Aug 27 11:22AM +0530
Url: http://groups.google.com/group/babasatsang/msg/cd47d79c65882780
good one !
Reacting to criticism
So often we are immobilized by the slightest criticism. We treat it like
an emergency, and defend ourselves as if we were in a battle.
When we react to criticism with a knee-jerk, defensive response, it
hurts. We feel attacked, and we have a need to defend or to offer a
counter criticism. We fill our minds with angry or hurtful thoughts
directed at ourselves or at the person who is being critical. All this
reaction takes an enormous amount of mental energy.
An incredibly useful exercise is to agree with criticism directed toward
you. I'm not talking about turning into a doormat or ruining your
self-esteem by believing all negativity that comes in your direction.
There are many times when simply agreeing with criticism defuses the
situation, satisfies a person's need to express a point of view, offers
you a chance to learn something about yourself by seeing a grain of
truth in another position, and, perhaps most important, provides you an
opportunity to remain calm.
One of the first times I consciously agreed with criticism directed
toward me was many years ago when a devotee said to me, "Sometimes you
talk too much." I remember feeling momentarily hurt before deciding to
agree. I responded by saying, "You're right, I do talk too much
sometimes." In agreeing with him, I was able to see that he had a good
point. I often do talk too much! What's more, my non-defensive reaction
helped him to relax.
Reacting to criticism never makes the criticism go away. In fact,
negative reactions to criticism often convince the person doing the
criticizing that they are accurate in their assessment of you.
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